Can we just talk about Brene Brown for a minute and how she has become such a guiding light for me and a ka-zillion other people? You may have heard her name recently or seen her on a morning show because her new book, Rising Strong, just came out.
I will caveat this by saying I am about half way though and soaking up all the nuggets of truth will take some alone time, which I have none of at the point pre-school. But, there are a few points that I have found myself churring on in other parts of my day after reading.
This is one of my favorite quotes:
Just like Dear Therapist (DT), Brene challenges the reader to be curious about why we may be reacting or having emotion around an event, a comment, a person, a memory, etc. Like, we should say to ourselves, “Huh, why do I all of a sudden feel so bad about myself?” The beginning of healing is found by being curious. AND IT IS MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS. You have to catch yourself before spiraling down into worry and angst. “Huh, I’m feeling really sad after running into that person at the grocery store.” “Oh, I am beating myself up about my weight after getting my InStyle in the mail today.” “Just by thinking about my cancer scare last year I feel like I’m going to throw up. Look at that.” The beginning of healing and rising strong is in the curiosity.
Brown says that the first step is in the noticing. We don’t even have to worry about fixing or finding a solution. We start by getting curious about what is happening in our bodies and minds when we experience things that trigger us. DT explains that if we can catch ourselves in the act, then we can carve out new loops in our synaps – new trails in our brains that will not cause us to go down the same, familiar and awful paths that can lead to depression and anxiety.
Brown suggests that once you start getting curious, know that you are turning in when tuning in. You are getting ready to rumble with some of these triggers. This may mean that eventually you may choose to do things differently or change relationships or seek help – all of which are real “shit starters.” And we all know life can be shit; a real mess so don’t be afraid of getting into the nitty-gritty if it is going to transform your life for the good.
I started to rumble about 6 years ago when I committed to seeking therapy weekly for issues that I knew I wanted to work out; issues that were making me miserable and wanting to jump in front of a moving metro train most mornings. I was living in fear, insecurity, depression, anger, angst and more fear. But, things did not all of a sudden iron out once I began to work through my shit. In fact, this is when the rumble really started – when I got curious and eventually said, “Oooo, I hate feeling this way. What could I do differently?”
Rumbling makes all the behaviors that used to make up you come into question. This also means relationships with family and friends. Who the fuck is this girl that is changing the rules of the game and acting so….different? Where is the compliant, sweet girl that we thought we always knew? Why is she acting this way? Well, she was hiding under all the fear and distain for herself and now she is RUMBLING!!!!!
Ah, such freedom in the rumble even though it is a shit starter. It means that I can face my story and relationships in a different way. The shake up is awful and hard and many times I don’t want to do it, but, to turn into my own truth is liking drinking the coolest, most refreshing water. It is like doing yoga and breathing and feeling new all at once. It is touching the ocean for the first time. It is the first fresh peach of the summer. It is doing everything that I was meant to. It is holy ground. It is love and it is Jesus and it is finding the deepest part of me; that part that is so intent on seeking truth and living love that all those Philistines and people that think they understand what truth is and what you are are all shaken down.
Ah, no. I will show you me in the rumble and afterwards, I will know that I am fully me and I am worthy and I too am worth kicking up dust for.