Can you relate or have an experience like the following? If so, email me or Post to “Dear Christen”.

1. How have you set boundaries with a family member that insists on pushing past them?

2. What do you obsess over to make yourself feel worthy? (Diet, exercise, clothes, etc.)

3. Who has hurt you today?

4. Are you overwhelmed with work? How do you calm yourself down?

5. Do you feel you are doing your best, but keep getting pushed down?

6. Is it difficult for you to forgive a friend that you felt has wronged you?

7. How do you want to feel loved?

8. Do you feel like you have been pigeoned-holed or stereotyped into a type of person that you are not? Are you upset about it?

9. How easy is it for you to give yourself a time-out and sit on the couch for a breather?

10. Do you feel like moving would help change your life?



  1. Love this idea of a sharing community! My husband recently went into treatment for his addiction to alcohol. It’s been 14 days and the pain is immense. I’m home with my children, just sold our home, and celebrated our youngest child’s third birthday…all alone. My prayer is that he can heal from this terrible disease in order to be the husband and father he desperately wants to be. Would love to hear other’s experiences in this area and they’re hope and strength. Thanks for what you’re doing!

    • Hi . I work with people who are in this situation and I can tell you there is hope, people do turn their lives around. The body begins to heal pretty quickly after detox. The mind is pretty elastic and heals well with time. My thoughts are with you and your little ones. Stay strong and take each day at a time.

    • Rebecca, here it is February and your post was from October, so I hope your husband has embraced his new life in recovery. I want to tell you my story…
      This time 20 years ago, I was in the height of my alcoholism and was excited to finally be marrying my sweet and handsome man that April. We were married on April 8th and my 15 yr old and 22 yr old sons from my 1st marriage walked me down the aisle. And 5 days later, we almost divorced after a drunken night in Jamaica on our honeymoon. And it did not get any better. Finally, after another (many) drunken nights and lots of fights between us, my son and his son, teenagers who were living with us, my husband packed all his stuff from our house one night and decided to end his life (I did not know this at the time). Instead, he was guided to a local treatment center the next morning. He asked that we not have any alcohol at the house when he got home. So I joined him as any new wife would. I was going to quit drinking too! I REALLY had no idea that I needed help and that I was an alcoholic too…not until I started paying attention at meetings about ME and learned to relate instead of compare my story with others. It was an INCREDIBLY rocky road for quite a while with being newlyweds, living in a blended family with 5 children (thankfully only 2 at home plus 1 every other weekend) and trying to keep our sanity while getting sober. We went to AA meetings every day for a LLOOONNNGGGG time (18-20 months). We both got sponsors, worked the steps, prayed (tho I did not believe that any kind of a God would help me), read everything we could about getting and staying sober and …
      it has now been 19 and a half years…we still have sponsors, work the steps, pray (separately & together too), read, go to 2-3 meetings a week and help other men & women who want sobriety get and stay sober. And this April 8th we will amazingly celebrate 20 years of marriage (marital bliss? I think not – lots of hard work and willingness to get better…oh and therapy!!) And remember that I had a first marriage? That husband, who I asked to leave our home 26 yrs ago, because I thought he had a problem with alcohol (ironic, huh, and I ended up in recovery in AA). Well, sadly, he never did get help, and since untreated alcoholism always gets worse instead of better, his liver finally shut down and his brain and body swelled with the poisons that his failed liver could not eliminate and he died this afternoon at the young age of 64. We are all very sad that he could never face his life and get help. Now it’s too late.
      I sincerely hope that you and your husband are in recovery (al-anon for you is crucial – whether he has stayed sober/clean or not and I strongly encourage you to find an Al-anon group in your area!). Please reach out if I can help in any way. Recovery from addiction CAN yield a WONDERFULLY satisfying and exciting life! I Promise!!

  2. Today is the 5th anniversary of losing my boy to cancer. He was just three weeks away from his 10th birthday. x

    • Yours is the very first comment on The Safe Nest and I am sitting here in my kitchen crying reading it. Thank you for sharing your pain here. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling. I am sure there are others out there with similar experiences. May I post your share anonymously? I am a mother of 3 and I don’t know how I could carry on. The fact that you are here and speaking about him is a testament. Wishing you peace this day, Friend.

      • thank you. It just felt like serendipity when I saw your blog post and Bill was on my mind. This last year has felt like coming out of a fog, sometimes it cripples me and sometimes a smell, a thought creeps in that actually makes me smile. I felt floored last week, but this week despite hitting this anniversary I felt a little lighter in my soul. I planted a magnolia tree in my local park in his memory and I visited it yesterday. I do wonder what it would have been like to have had a teenager :). Yes, you may share my little story, if it is of any help to even one person it will have helped. Chuck

        • Bless you, Chuck. And your sweet boy. I am enjoying a quiet home on a sunny Sunday and I’m grateful that I have time now to pray for you and send you warm thoughts.
          Christen, you’re simply lovely.
          Thank you for The Safe Nest. And your heart.

        • Chuck,
          I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t have any more answers than you, but I can understand.
          I lost my 18 1/2 year old son 5 years ago in April. It seems like year 2 and 3 are so hard because you can’t fool yourself any longer that he will be back. It seemed to hit us all over again. Family and friends all mean well but they can go back to thier own lives. Ours still feels incomplete. Q’s birthday just passed in October, would have been 24, and who knows if there would have been a wife, kids, or even just a dog in his life 🙂 . I see the newest version of his favorite video game come out and think how excited he would be.
          There is a whole life that stopped and ours needs to be helped along. We are doing “fine” but working on better than fine. We don’t honor our son by not living our lives the best we can.
          Blessings to your family and those around you, take care.

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